-Dear reader, something strange your way comes. I borrow style from a brilliant poetry professor. Her blog is here. She writes about her mother’s dementia. Sometimes I can relate. I haven’t watched Star Trek since the last blog. Sometimes it’s hard to believe in the imaginary, especially when the money men knock on your doors, tie up your lines, and threaten to repo your cats. This blog is pseudo-blog-poem-experience to demonstrate (document?) life without Star Trek and how broken and mixed up it seems.
-Infinite regression. The act of regressing infinitely. The US can relate. So can our wallets. There was a point I wanted to make about that episode, but I couldn’t find the time to finish watching it. Interruptions: cross-talk compositional theory readings, subsequent practice exercises, emails from students (What is upload? And how do I do it?), texts from friends (someone I knew died; even though I did not know her I felt it anyway). I am 27 now, but am/have been stuck at 23 for four years now. Nothing changes, even though everything else does.
-I sat down to write the blog twice. The first resulted in an amalgamation of an almost. I almost got the thought out. I almost made the connection. I almost posted what I wrote. Soon, I tired of almost and deleted the document from e-existence. At 3am one day I awoke. There is no money in my account, yet hundreds of dollars vanish anyway. Why a minus and in red—the red is enough. It tells me “danger. danger.” I make a second attempt to write you. The heft of reality is cumbersome and blocks me. Star Trek can’t help me now, I think. Then, feel bad for pushing the blame off.
-I spoke with my friends this week. There are only two people I talk to regularly. I sometimes miss facebook. It said I had 76 friends. Where did they go? He says: I need a drink. She says: I can’t make it. My bank account is zero too. Sam says: You think too much. Most likely. I keep looking for answers. I searched my rhet/comp theory text. Found none. My classmates have none either. Are they locked away somewhere? Do you have the key?
-I learned about Henrietta Lacks. Her HeLa cells cured polio. Might cure cancer too. These HeLa cells also destroyed her and her family. As I read, all I could think: what if that was me?
-I have no great desire to seek out new life. Could not even muster the energy to turn the DVD player on and “insert disc.” I suppose even Star Trek can let you down—just pressing play is difficult. But not insurmountable. In lieu of comments, please leave answers.
End transmissions.
